5 Things I Didn't Know About Having Kids


Having kids is just the best.

Before we start, let me say that I currently have 3 kids: Kid 1 is almost 6, Kid 2 is 4, and Kid 3 is 6 months.  Parenting has many different seasons that are all different in important ways.   Parenting is the best thing I've ever done.  My kids are amazing.  They are creative, spontaneous, loving, and JUST SO GREAT.  People need to hear how awesome having kids really is.  It's totally hilarious.  

There are a few things I didn't know before I had kids.  Here are some of them:

1.  What tiredness is.

Like, seriously. 

When I was in college, I remember thinking how I was SO busy, and there was no way that I would make it because of all the responsibilities I had. If I absolutely needed to, I could pull an all-nighter to study or get some project done.  The next day/days were filled with sleeping in til noon or later and talking about my one night of hard work like I was some kind of super student or something.  I look back now and wonder what I did with all my time. 

Having kids ushered in a whole new understanding of just how much I could do on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, like, every day.  Kids have no "off".  You might think "They had a late night.  Perhaps they'll sleep in."  Nope. 

Now, having kids doesn't mean a life sentence of 3-4 hours of sleep a night, but they do happen with more frequency than you might think. 

This is a great opportunity to rely on God's strength, grace, and mercy in your life.  Some days, there's nothing you can do but say, "God, I have no idea how this is going to work today. Give me strength to be a good parent to these monkeys."  Which, as it turns out, is not the worst place to be.  (2 Corinthians 12:9 says "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.")

2. How little I know about myself.
Parenting will show you parts of yourself that you never knew existed.  Some are good, some not so much.  It truly is a furnace that can allow the Holy Spirit to burn away the impurities and selfish motives of your heart, if you let it. 

3. How little I know about anything.
The thought that I am trusted and expected to raise a baby into a fully functioning, schedule keeping, polite, God fearing, other people centered, self regulating person is really mind-boggling.  I remember walking through the door of our house with our first kid, setting the car seat down on the floor, and saying to my wife, "Well, what in the world are we supposed to do now?" 

This is where community has been SO important in our lives as parents. Once I admit that I really don't know how to do this, I can reach out to those who have more experience, and get the help that I need.  If that's you today, know that there are people that have walked this road before, and can give you the advice and encouragement you need, if you're willing to ask. 

4. How demanding parenting is.
No Christmas break, no summers off, no sick days (unless you actually are sick, in which case, you still have to take care of your kids).  Parenting is not for the weak.  Parenting will take any selfishness inside of you and smash it to little, tiny, cracker crumb covered pieces. 

Again, a good support system is crucial.  Find people that have gone before you (and survived), as well as those who are walking along side you that can encourage you along the way.  

5. What a rock star my wife is.
Parenting will not only show you a side of yourself that you didn't know existed, it will reveal things about your spouse that you never knew were there.  I'm SO thankful that God's plan for parenting was meant to be in the context of marriage and community.  I've learned so much about how caring, considerate, unselfish, nurturing, and generally incredible my wife is in this process of having and raising kids.  

6 (BONUS!). How totally amazing having kids would be.
The Bible says in Psalm 127:3 that "Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord."  In the middle of late night feedings, bed wettings, diaper changes, crackers ground into the couch, bathroom breaks, and all the other chaos that comes with having kids, this verse is an anchor.  Having kids is one of the hardest, most challenging, frustrating, best, life-giving, incredible things that a person can do.  It's an adventure.  I've never prayed so much, and laughed so hard in my life. 

Parents, especially parents of little ones, you can do it!  Take heart that this season, the bleary eyed, coffee guzzling, diaper changing, sleep training, car seat toting season, is short.  I've heard that it's something that we'll miss someday.  Let God speak to you as you seek Him.  Reach out to those who can help and listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit, who guides us into all truth (John 16:13). 

Also, check out the series "Losing Your Marbles" from Evangel.  Seriously some of the best parenting messages I've heard. 

The Holy Spirit and Worship (Part 2)

In the first blog in this series, we looked at the fact that being filled with the Holy Spirit is not necessary for salvation.  In other words, without the experience of being baptized in the Spirit, you'll can still be assured of salvation in Jesus,  based on God's Word in 2 Corinthians 5:17, which says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

So, why be filled with the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit has been given to all believers to make us more effective for Him.  You CAN pound a nail into a board with a wrench, but it's much more effective to do it with tools designed for that specific job, like a hammer, or a nail gun.  Below are a number of scriptural reasons to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

1. To be a more effective witness
Acts 1:8  "Rather, you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

2. To increase our boldness
Acts 4:31 "After they prayed, the place where they were gathered was shaken. They were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking God’s word with confidence.

3. For personal spiritual edification
1 Cor 14:4 "People who speak in a tongue build up themselves; those who prophesy build up the church.

4. To Build up ourselves in faith
Jude 1:20 "But you, dear friends: build each other up on the foundation of your most holy faith, pray in the Holy Spirit...

5. A way of giving thanks to God
1 Cor 14:16-17 "After all, if you praise God in the Spirit, how will the people who aren’t trained in that language say “Amen!” to your thanksgiving, when they don’t know what you are saying? You may offer a beautiful prayer of thanksgiving, but the other person is not being built up."

6. To be more effective in prayer
Ephesians 6:14-18 "So stand with the belt of truth around your waist, justice as your breastplate,  and put shoes on your feet so that you are ready to spread the good news of peace.  Above all, carry the shield of faith so that you can extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is God’s word.  Offer prayers and petitions in the Spirit all the time. Stay alert by hanging in there and praying for all believers.

7. To cultivate and infuse joy into our lives
Acts 13: 52 "Because of the abundant presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives, the disciples were overflowing with happiness."

Romans 14:17  "God’s kingdom isn’t about eating food and drinking but about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit."

As worship leaders and worshipers, this list should speak for itself.  The gift of the Holy Spirit is invaluable to all believers, and as worship leaders, an extra measure of joy, boldness, effectiveness, and spiritual encouragement that comes from being filled with the Holy Spirit should cause us to seek Him!  

The Holy Spirit and Worship (Part 1)

What does being filled with the Spirit have to do with worship and worship leading?  My goal with this, the first of a series of posts about the Holy Spirit and Worship, is to introduce the person of the Holy Spirit, and to look at how the experience of being "Baptized in the Holy Spirit" impacts our worship of Jesus.  So, put aside what you may have heard or experienced, and let's let the Word of God shine His truth into our hearts and lives.

Who Is The Holy Spirit?
The Holy Spirit is a member of the Trinity.  He's present at the beginning of the Bible, moving and working even before anything had been created:

The earth was an empty waste and darkness was over the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was moving over the top of the waters.
— Genesis 1:2

The Holy Spirit has a mind.
Romans 8:27
"And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God."

The Holy Spirit has a will.
1 Cor 12:11
”All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines."

The Holy Spirit has emotions, such as love and joy.
Romans 15:30
"I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.”

Galatians 5:22
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,"

The Holy Spirit comforts.
Acts 9:31
"Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers."

The Holy Spirit speaks.
Hebrews 3:7
"So, as the Holy Spirit says, Today, if you hear his voice...”

I Tim 4:1
“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons."

The Holy Spirit teaches.
1 Cor 2:13
"This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words."

The Holy Spirit can be made to feel sorrow.
Ephesians 4:30
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."

The Holy Spirit can be insulted.
Hebrews 10:29
"How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?"

The Holy Spirit can be resisted.
Acts 7:51
"You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit!"

The Holy Spirit can be lied to.
Acts 5:3
"Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land?”

The Baptism in the Holy Spirit
In looking at the Baptism in the Holy Spirit, it's helpful to look at what Holy Spirit baptism is NOT:

1. The Baptism in the Holy Spirit is not necessary for salvation.
When a person accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior, they are made new!  The old has passed away and the new has come (2 Cor 5:17).  From the accounts of Spirit baptism in Acts, we see that there was not a doubt about the salvation of those who were baptized in the Spirit.  
(See Acts 8:16-17, Acts 19:4-6)

2. The Baptism in the Holy Spirit is not a new idea.
From ancient times, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit has been predicted (prophesied).

In the last days I will send My Spirit on all men. Then your sons and daughters will speak God’s Word. Your old men will dream dreams. Your young men will see special dreams. Yes, on My servants, both men and women, I will pour out My Spirit in those days.
— Joel 22: 28-29

3. The Baptism in the Holy Spirit is not only meant for a select few.
Acts 2:4-"ALL of them were filled with the Holy Spirit..."
Acts 2:17- "I will pour out my Spirit on ALL people."
Acts 4:31-"And the were ALL filled with the Holy Spirit..."
Acts 10:44-"...the Holy Spirit came on ALL who heard the message."
1 Cor 14:5-"I would like EVERY ONE of you to speak in tongues..."

4. The Baptism in the Holy Spirit is not meant to be a one-time thing, but rather a daily filling.
Ephesians 5:18 says, 
"Do not get drunk with wine. That leads to wild living. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit."

We need to daily ask the Holy Spirit to come and take the reigns of our lives (if you're like me, you want to drive every now and then). When we are directed and led by the Holy Spirit in our lives, we can truly know the heart and mind of Christ and live our lives in a way that embraces the Spirit's power, instead of relying on our own.  This needs to be a daily experience. 

This is where we need to lay aside our preconceived notions of what being baptized (filled) in the Holy Spirit looks like.  For some, the phrase "Baptized in the Holy Spirit" brings up thoughts or pictures of wild, uncontrolled, spiritual frenzy, but true baptism in the Holy Spirit can be as simple as a prayer of "Holy Spirit, come fill me this morning."-allowing the Holy Spirit into our lives, our schedules, our routines, our families to help us live and think and act in line with God's word, and being led through our days with the help of the Holy Spirit inside of us.

We've seen that the filling of the Holy Spirit is meant for all believers, that even though the Baptism in the Holy Spirit is not necessary for salvation, the person of the Holy Spirit desires to work in and through us, giving us tools to effectively live our lives for Christ. 

As worship leaders and worshipers, any opportunity to be more surrendered to Christ and less to ourselves is something we should jump at.  Being filled and led by the Spirit is the ultimate goal in any worship setting-to speak the words we hear the Spirit saying, to lead with Godly confidence that comes from closeness with Christ, and to worship in the anointing and presence of God.  Let's allow the Holy Spirit to change the way we think and act because of His work in our lives and in our churches. 


3 Ways to Have a Better Sounding Worship Team

Are you looking to improve the way your worship team sounds?  If so, here are a few suggestions:

1. Organization
How do you communicate your worship sets to your team?  How far ahead do you plan?  I've been a part of many teams where the first time I saw the set list was an hour before the service started.  With worship planning sites like Planning Center, or others similar, worship planning has never been easier.  For the ministry I lead, we try (TRY) to have song lists up a month or more ahead of time. Each song in our database has the chart (multiple keys), the audio file, a Youtube link (if it exists), and any tracks or extras that go with the song.  It's not a perfect system, but I want to give my worship team members every opportunity to be prepared when they are scheduled to serve.

2. Rehearsal
When does your team rehearse?  What's the format of your rehearsals?  Are you adequately preparing your team to succeed?  Usually, what you do in practice, you do in the game.  That is to say, if you don't spend time rehearsing, you shouldn't wonder why your worship sets aren't sounding as good as you'd like them to.  Our rehearsals are divided into two sections: the band meets while the singers team meets at the same time.  After 30-45 minutes, we join together to run the list.  I've found that this eliminates a lot of confusion for the singers, and gives the band time to ask questions or try different things.  How much time has been wasted in rehearsal while singers try to nail down there parts as everyone else stands around and watches? 

3. Educate
Are you training your team? Do you tell them what you expect of them?  Often times when I've been frustrated in the performance or sound of my team, I've found that it comes back to a failure on my part to communicate what I want.  Your team can't read your mind.  Of course, communicating what you want assumes that you've spent the time to determine what you want. It requires work, prayer, and consideration on your part to be able to communicate clearly and effectively your expectations. 

Take a look at these areas and see if there are any opportunities to improve how you are serving your team.  As you work to improve your organization, your rehearsal times, and how you communicate to your team, you'll find that your team will respond, and your serve will improve. 

Hymns vs. New Songs: What Does Your Worship Style Preference Say About You?


Before we begin, I want you to say something with me: "The author of this article places high value on the great hymns of faith."  Please, say it out loud.  Maybe do it again.  

In my ministry experience, I've found no greater "hot-button" topic than hymns vs. new songs in worship.  For every person that is excited about new songs, there are those that want the classic hymns of the faith, and vice-versa.   Often their comments on both sides are passionate, and accompanied by great emotion. 

As with many different preference related discussions, this topic leads us to deeper, farther reaching matters of the heart.  Is a hymn more spiritual than a new worship song? No.  Are new worship songs somehow better than hymns of the past?  No.  Remember, "Amazing Grace" was a new song once, too...

Here are 3 questions to ask yourself when evaluating your own worship preferences:

1. Am I seeking to be spiritual mature?
When has it ever been mature to demand your own way? The idea that, "if the church doesn't do things the way I want I'm going to just leave and take my tithe with me," is not a mature way of thinking.  Please hear this in love: The church doesn't exist to cater to your personal preferences. What church should be, with God's help, is a place to grow together.  To be challenged in the way we think about God.  To learn and apply His Word to our lives more and more each day.  

2. Am I ministering to others, or am I simply consuming?
Mature believers should be coming to church to be ministers, not only to be ministered to.  Are you committed to the vision of your church?  Are you active in furthering the mission of your church?  When we get involved in the larger, life-changing mission of the church-when we see people's lives actually being changed-little things like our musical preferences don't seem like such a big deal.

3.  How is my relationship with Jesus?
If you're not hungry for more of God, maybe it's because you're already full of yourself.  We can't spiritualize our preferences. The minute we say "My preference is more spiritual than your preference," we've lost the essence of worship all together.  Worship shouldn't be about what pleases me, or my preferences.  It should be about pleasing God.  When we make worship about our preferences, our eyes turn inward, to what we want. If our eyes are on ourselves, they aren't looking to the One we're there to worship. 

1 Samuel 16:7
God doesn’t look at things like humans do. Humans see only what is visible to the eyes, but the Lord sees into the heart.”

Your reaction to worship in a style you don't particularly enjoy can tell you a lot about your spiritual condition.  If you just can't worship to hymns, there's a deeper spiritual problem.  Likewise, if you can't stir your own spirit to worship to new songs, you need to ask the Holy Spirit to help you evaluate the condition of your heart.  Let's pray, as David did, that the Lord would reveal to us the attitudes of our hearts, and help us to love Him more!

Psalm 139:23-24
Examine me, God! Look at my heart!
    Put me to the test! Know my anxious thoughts!
Look to see if there is any idolatrous way in me,
    then lead me on the eternal path!


3 Steps to Developing Vision in Worship Ministry

Proverbs 29:18
"Where there is no vision, people get out of control." 

Having a vision for your worship ministry is important.   Having a specific vision for your team gives you something to rally your people around.  It also gives you something to evaluate your performance by.  Here are 3 steps that will help you develop your vision for your worship team.

1.  Know your pastor's vision for your church.
God has placed your pastor as the leader of your church.  Make sure you are on the same page as your pastor when it comes to the vision and direction of your worship ministry.  The last thing you want is to run forward, spending time and energy pushing towards a direction that your pastor is not comfortable with. Spend time with him.  Ask questions.  Listen.  When you are comfortable with the vision your pastor has for your church, you can begin to move forward in defining the direction for your worship ministry. 

2.  Know what God is doing in your church.
What is God doing in your local church?  "Because [insert the latest mega-church here] is doing it", is not a good reason for your church to pursue something.  Seek the Lord and try to discern what God is doing that is specific to your church.  God doesn't move the same way in all churches or ministries.  What season are you in as a church? Is it a rebuilding season?  A celebratory season?  A season of update and change?  What type of people do you have on your team?  What does your pastor see happening in your church?  Where do you want to go as a church? What's the next step for YOU? 

3.  Know what God has called you to do.
You are going to be the most effective when you are acting and pursuing things that are authentic to who you are as a leader.  Try, as much as you can, to know who YOU are.  If you're not a crazy, in your face, super energetic communicator, don't try to act like you are.  It's ok to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but you need to be true to who God has made you to be.  He's created you on purpose for a purpose.  What gifts has God given you?  Are you an encourager?  Are you someone who loves to intercede for others?  Do you enjoy getting out into the community and serving others?   (There are many resources that will help you learn about yourself.  You can learn a lot from some simple personality tests designed to show you about yourself.  Check out the book "Strength Finder 2.0" for more info.)  

Having a solid vision for your worship team will rally your people around what God has called you to do in your local church.  Let God speak to you as you seek Him! Let's continue to do the good work that Jesus has begun in us by having a God-given vision for the future!